Thursday:
1. Civilian negligence (16.5/18.5)
in China, caused by (18/18.5)
government control? (18.5/18.5)
2. Indiana schools ditch textbooks, (27/27.5)
for laptops and digital education(27.5/27.5)
Friday:
1. Ohio police fear public safety, kill dozens of freed animals (44/44.5)
2. Preserve owner dead on-site (27/27)
Freed animals cause chaos(25/27)
3. British laws restrict non-Europeans from the Arts (46.5/47)
4. Strict immigration laws (21/23)
In Britain reject foreign (22/23)
artists and performers (21/23)
Saturday:
1. Preserve owner's autopsy: Big Cat bite? (38/38)
2. Ohio: officials say all animals (26.5/27)
Have been killed or captured (26.5/27)
4. A genius (7.5/9)
life: Jobs' (9/9)
biography (8.5/9)
tells it all (8.5/9)
Sunday:
1. Brazilian doctors guilty (20.5/20.5)
of killing 4 patients (18.5/20.5)
2. Chinese toddler dies (18.5/20.5)
of hit-and-run injuries (20/20.5)
3. 5 of Bachmann's staff (20/20.5)
quit, 'miscommunication' (20/20.5)
4. GE's net earnings go (19.5/20.5)
up for the third quarter (19.5/20.5)
5. NBA lock-out: players (20.5/20.5)
and coaches fall silent (20/20.5)
Ranking every World Series in MLB history
6 years ago
Lydia,
ReplyDeleteFinally getting around to grading the headlines. I don't think I'd had a chance to comment on yours before.
Generally, I'd say you have a good handle on the whole headline writing thing.
Thursday:
Heds are fine. You just seem to have developed a habit for dropping in commas for no particular reason. The commas in each of the Thursday heds are unnecessary.
Friday:
1. Ohio police fear public safety, kill dozens of freed animals (44/44.5)
Literally this says that the police are afraid of public safety, which of course would be a problem in police work. You mean they "fear for" but the "for" would put it over the count, so why not drop it, as you did? Because it changes the meaning of the headline.
Preserve owner dead on-site (27/27)
Freed animals cause chaos(25/27)
Just doesn't have any poetry to it. Also need semi-colon after first line. Keep reworking heds until they just roll off your tongue.
Saturday:
1. Preserve owner's autopsy: Big Cat bite? (38/38)
That's good. Nice rhythm and direct.
2. Ohio: officials say all animals (26.5/27)
Have been killed or captured (26.5/27)
Another efficient headline. Need an upper-case O on officials -- always after a full colon in a hed.
4. A genius (7.5/9)
life: Jobs' (9/9)
biography (8.5/9)
tells it all (8.5/9)
Good line breaks; just need a possessive genius, and you have plenty of room for an apostrophe there.
Sunday:
1. Brazilian doctors guilty (20.5/20.5)
of killing 4 patients (18.5/20.5)
Good headline.
2. Chinese toddler dies (18.5/20.5)
of hit-and-run injuries (20/20.5)
Somehow, need to address the negligence aspect, since that's what made it more than a local story.
3. 5 of Bachmann's staff (20/20.5)
quit, 'miscommunication' (20/20.5)
A little rough, but replace the comma after "quit" with a full colon and you would be OK.
4. GE's net earnings go (19.5/20.5)
up for the third quarter (19.5/20.5)
Against the rules to use articles (the) to meet line length -- most of the time, articles are left out of headlines. Otherwise good.
5. NBA lock-out: players (20.5/20.5)
and coaches fall silent (20/20.5)
Capitalize "players."
This is fie headline writing. Seems like you get the drift of it.